dinos and pigs

The Word of God...

2012-02-05T22:10:00.001-06:00

...is spirit and is life.

It is living and active.

It is sharp and penetrating.

The Word of God changes us,

it recreates.

It is Truth and is imperishable.

The Word of God is enduring.

His Word eradicates our guilt.

The Word of God cleanses, it washes us white as snow.

It is gracious.

It builds us up.

It is God-breathed.

It is useful, it rebukes, it corrects...it is love.

God's Word trains us in righteousness and thoroughly equips us.

It brings us light.

It encourages.

It gives hope.

The Word of God is a quiet retreat.

It renews.

It SETS US FREE.

The Word of God is at work.

It blesses.

It is a lamp for our feet.

It is a light for our paths.

It does not condemn

It convicts, it changes us.

It is stimulating, illuminating, elevating and liberating.

It is the Word of God

I receive it

I accept it

I know it

and I do it.

ALL for the GLORY of CHRIST JESUS MY LORD.

John 6:63, Hebrews 4:12, James 1:18, Ephesians 5:25-26, John 15:3, Romans 10:17, Acts 20:32, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Psalm 119:130, Psalm 119:105, Romans 15:4, Psalm 119:114, John 8:31-32, 1 Thessalonians 2:13

My notes from Titus' sermon: 40 Days in the Word, also giving a shout out to www.creationswap.com for graphics.

Confessions

2011-12-09T22:04:00.000-06:00

Today I confess:

Yes I slept with kleenex stuffed in my nose all night
No I could not breathe
Yes I snored
Yes half of the groceries (the pantry items) are still in sacks on the floor
Yes they will stay there until tomorrow
Yes I hid the baggie of leftover marshmallows
No the kids can't reach them
Yes I sneak handfuls before bed
Yes of course there is always laundry to be done
No I did not do any
Wait, yes, I did one load
Yes there is still popsicle juice glued to the floor from yesterday
Yes I just looked down at it and proceeded to do nothing about it
Yes I used dictionary.com to look up the word "panoply"
Yes cheesey mac is stuck in the bowls from dinner
Yes those bowls are still on the table
No I'm not going to soak them
Yes I will pay the price and scrub them tomorrow
No I will not lose sleep over any of this

Yes I was a bit agitated today
Yes I was a little too busy to listen to e v e r y story the kids told me
No I did not have time to sit and read books with them today
Yes we were in too much of a hurry to brush her hair
Yes that hits me in the gut
Yes I will lose sleep over this

Yes I will go kiss their sleeping faces
No I did not know where these confessions would lead
Yes I will pray for the Lord to slow my steps
Yes I will laugh with them tomorrow
Yes we will read so many books tomorrow
Yes our day will be filled with joy

I already feel better :)

Eli

2011-11-30T10:25:00.000-06:00

"He's on his way," my husband informs me. Our faithful exterminator is making his regular monthly visit. I glance around the house, making sure the chaos is minimal and the baseboards are clear of toys. My youngest always greets him with a puzzled expression because he actually looks like a modified version of her uncle, my brother. And he does seem like one who would fit right in at a family gathering.

My husband asks him how his wife is doing. She was sick last time he came to spray our baseboards. As I run up and down the stairs delivering cups of milk to my two girls, I hear the two men's conversation in passing. I can tell by their tone that what she had must have been something more serious than just the common cold. I almost thought I heard his throat swell as he spoke of her, but I didn't want to intrude.

"It's hard." He tells my husband.

After he finishes up, he bids "Happy Holidays," and makes his way down the stairs. My husband asks him the name of his wife and is it ok for us to pray for them.

"She's got cancer."

I turn to my husband to see how he is moved by this man and his wife. They are our age and they do have children. She has been sick for two years and the hospital did not catch it. It covers her abdomen and now has moved to her upper torso. My heart fills with tears for this family. And he has to keep working, knowing she is at home in pain. Not knowing how long she has to live. How long he will still be able to look into her eyes. What in the world can we do for them?

Pray. For physical healing. Pray for soft hearts and a moving of the Spirit. For intuition and sensitivity. And do something extraordinary. Reach out with Jesus' hands.

Pray with me?

Nellie

2011-11-20T14:02:00.000-06:00

I am not sure exactly how old she was, but she was there when our church here in little Corydon, IN opened its doors for the first time. A church birthed from a great revival. I just met her this past April, the sweetest little thing she is.

So the children in the preschool class spent one Sunday morning making cards for her. Then we took time and each child prayed for her. It was a blessing to see each child's eyes light up when I explained what we were making, why we were making them, and who we were making them for.

The smallest of my own children even remembered that Sunday night, right before bed, to pray for Mrs. Nellie. "We forgot to pray for Nellie, Mama." So I said, "Ok, would you like to pray for her?" She nods and bows her precious head, "Dear Jesus, thank you for Nellie, amen."

And I am sure to tell Nellie the next day when I deliver her sparkly cards to her. She's grateful that we prayed for her and missed her though, these days, it is very difficult for her to get out. We do miss her. She tells me she wonders why God keeps her here anymore. I search her eyes, feeling sorrowful that she would think this way. Then she goes on to say that when she had mentioned that same thought to one of her friends, the friend asked, "Well, don't you pray for people?" Nellie answers that she does pray, each day, and longs for the salvation of her family. And her friend assures her, "Then THAT is why He keeps you here."

He puts us here to pray. He keeps us here to pray. To love. Because when you pray more, you love more! God be praised.

2011-11-19T09:00:00.000-06:00

Most forwards you get via email or other web services are hardly funny, or you've heard them too many times already. This story was emailed to me by a dear friend, it made me laugh out loud, so I just had to share it with you.

Homeless Man's Funeral

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch.
I felt bad and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played my heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends. I played like I'd never played before for this homeless man.

As I played "Amazing Grace" the workers began to weep. They wept. I wept. We all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car with my head hung low and my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

Apparently I'm still lost.
--

Hope you had a good laugh :)

photo legally borrowed from www.creationswap.com Check them out!

Seeing him see Him

2011-11-11T18:01:00.000-06:00

It was lunch time, so the natural stop was the restaurant conveniently located inside the department store. I went to sit alone at our table while my loving and helpful mom helped my oldest daughter fill up her drink cup. I was exhausted already, days of waiting in the critical care unit, hoping the Lord would free my grandpa from his pain...whether it meant physical healing, or bringing him on to his home in heaven. I began to think again how fragile and short life really is. Watching the people standing in line, I observed them and wondered what was going on in their lives. And they didn't know anything about what I was doing as much as I knew about what they were doing. We keep to ourselves, some of us hiding our hurt better than others. But a mother of a young girl caught my attention as I was scoping out all the customers.

She was a small framed mom, dressed comfortably, but very stressed and in a hurry. Her sharp words are what actually grabbed me out of my thoughts, and I moved my gaze toward the direction in which her words were tossed. A small girl, probably a year younger than my oldest. A cutie in her matching outfit complete with a bow and a sweet smile, she climbed on the bar like a little monkey in that restaurant line...just as my sweetie was doing only a few moments before. But little monkey's mom did not think it was cute and was in too much of a hurry to deal calmly with a jumpy three year old. So the little girl jumps down, but still gets stabbed with harsh tones and thoughtless words as she and her mom wait in line.

In the meantime, a grandmotherly looking woman comes in with a chubby cheeked boy about the age of nine. They quietly sat a few tables across from me, and surprisingly, the harried mom and three year old monkey joined them at the same table. The mom did not pay much attention at all to the boy, so I questioned what relationship they actually had with each other, and if the grandmother was a grandmother at all. I'm not good at figuring these kinds of things out, so I decided not to try. I did still wonder why that mom was in such a hurry just to sit down.

Do I unnecessarily get in a hurry just to sit down? Hurting those who get in the way as I am on my way to do....nothing? I wanted to go to the mom and quietly tell her to slow down and look at her daughter, tell her she is special, to be patient with her. That words can kill. Then, I see him. The boy, who has not said but maybe two words, folds his hands in front of his sweet chubby face, closes his eyes, and mouths a prayer of thanks to God in heaven Whom I know is seeing this, too. Though the mom and the supposed grandmother were too caught up in complaining of this and did not cast even a glance at the praying boy.

He stole my heart. I melted at the sight of a nine year old boy, in the middle of chaos, who revered God and remembered to give thanks, even if though (he thought) no one else bowed with him. I did. And will always remember his fruit of faith. So today I am thankful for the chubby cheeked boy, a blessing from the Lord, His name be praised.

Giving Thanks

2011-11-11T15:22:00.001-06:00

Just slipping a short note in, just for you! Click on the image below to print your own Weekly List of God's Graces. If you are not in the habit of consciously giving thanks, start by finding ONE thing each day...then watch as your list grows day by day!

Love in Christ, your friend,

Click the image below for full size printable

Happy Birthday, My Little Hero

2011-10-29T22:23:00.001-05:00

You're seven today! What words could express what my heart feels when I look in your eyes and see you grow before my own? I am so proud of you, my little hero. Strong and sweet...just like Daddy...and just like Jesus. I love you. Here's to another year with my boy.

Love,
Mama

--

2011-10-21T22:19:00.002-05:00

We will be introducing "Pray For Me" cards this Sunday at our church...so excited! The idea is for adults to sign up if they would like to "adopt" a child in our church by committing to pray for them each week. Once everyone has signed up, a letter and this card will be issued to them, each person receiving a different child to pray for. Each child will decide ahead of time what they would like prayer for, and fill in the remaining blanks. Then the cards will be printed on card stock for durability. (And just for fun, I am going to trim the top around the graphic, to make it resemble a file card)

Just another fun way to keep the adults and children connected!

Click on the image to download your free Pray For Me card.

If you do end up using these, please let me know how it turns out!

2011-10-19T07:12:00.000-05:00

Be still, my soul.

The Lord is on your side.

Psalm 4:4
Stand in awe,
and sin not...

and be still.

Selah

Thank you, Ann, for your post.

Spiritual Gifts Test

2011-10-16T11:22:00.001-05:00

Yipee, I love these kinds of things!

Take a Spiritual Gifts test on www.reneeswope.com. My previous link was not working, so I will just give you the website and you can look around for yourself!

May the Lord bless you this coming week, daily, unceasingly :)

2011-10-08T22:24:00.002-05:00

Some time alone with my littlest one, that's what we needed. She and "be still and quiet for just a few more minutes" were in an all out brawl and she was. not. going. to. be. still. and. quiet. for. just. a. few. more. minutes.

All I wanted was to sit with my son's class, listen to Johnny Appleseed tell his story, and participate like a normal person. But I was doing anything but sitting, in fact, I was running here and there, chasing the little one who does NOT care ANYTHING about Johnny Appleseed and his story about orchards, and definitely did NOT want to have to sit still and be quiet so the other kids could hear.

After the third time of trying to trust her to "stay right where I can see you," I end up having to sprint across the Mine Discovery area, through the bouncy turtle play area, across the walkway, around the turkey looking chicken bird cages, to finally catch up with her at the Mountain Slide.

I began to wonder why in the world we even attempted to join the first graders' field trip. My stress level was rising ever so quickly, I know the feeling all too well. There I am, in the middle of a multitude of children and parents, smelly goats, hungry calves, and pumpkins, and I am at war with my self. Ears burning, tears doing their best to push their way out, I wonder why I get this way..and that makes me even more frustrated.

We needed to get away, out of this binding situation that only leads to the pulling stress on my heart and soul and everything inside me. I don't know what to do...if we should just give up and leave, claiming defeat, or if we should grab our shields and fight through to the end...

So, the little one and I, we hold hands....and walk. And walk. And walk.

Her small legs get tired so I scoop her up, and we walk.

And this is why we came. To find joy.

The ripples making their own glittery music, helped my heart to feel again like singing. My joy came as quickly as it left me, but only to come more abundantly. She runs, finally breaking loose the chains of confinement. And my heart does, too. Her joy causing her to climb higher and reach up, throwing up her hands in laughter.

At this, my tears do escape. Those same tears that I suppressed only a few minutes before, but now flowing because of joy.

He is teaching me peace. How to seek it. And how to find it.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 "Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!"

Wow!

2011-09-29T09:19:00.000-05:00

The Methodist Boys Ranch (part of the Methodist Children's Home.) has some potentially professional photographers right in their own back yard! I want to share these photos just to boast of their talent. I can't share their names, but I know their photography instructor must be so proud.

2011-09-29T09:11:00.000-05:00

What do you do for a grieving mother?

Who lost her child way too soon? The Spirit, interceding for her, pulls her close and holds her. But what is one to say?

Full of compassion and love for this woman, I find myself at a complete loss for words every time I am with her. She tells me of the kindhearted men who brought her daughter's ashes to her home yesterday.

What do I say? If I say anything, only tears will come out. She is falling apart, and all I can do is hold her pieces together tightly so none of them are lost. No doubt, God is taking care of her, evidence is all around.

But what does one say? Oh God in heaven, direct us, Lord, when right now, it is impossible to see how anything good can come of this.

Here you go...

2011-09-26T16:23:00.003-05:00

As promised, here are the blank Morning Checklists, for boy or girl.

Click image for full size photo, then right click and Save As.

Also, a fun activity to help your little one plan his/her birthday.

Click image for full size photo, then right click and Save As.

AND a fun outdoor fall activity for your family.

Click image for full size photo, then right click and Save As.

I have included links below, though some of them I recreated my own versions of their graphic.

Fall Clipart

Cupcake Clipart

Free Printables

--ALSO--

Sustaining grace

The depth of friendship

The blessing of family

Grace through grief

A time of seeking answers

Holding the fragile hands of a grieving mother

Wiping her tears

Crying to God

Three beautiful children who had to say goodbye to their mother too soon

Asking God "Why?"

Trusting He will work everything to the good for those who love Him

Intercession

The Name

2011-09-26T11:52:00.001-05:00

Last night, as I lay next to my youngest, I watch her breathing. Slower and steadier breaths, deeper sleep. My other daughter and I not quite asleep, yet, wait quietly for dreams to make their way in.

Distant thunder rolls. My littlest surprises me by starting to speak. I pat her back, trying to keep her asleep. She keeps talking in her sleep. Eyes closed. Her, all wrapped up tight in her blanket, clutching her handmade pillow. But I realize she is saying something almost inaudible, over and over. This phrase, as I lean in close, is pouring from my daughter's soul out of her mouth again and again,

"Jesus is with us......Jesus is with us......Jesus is with us......"

How can it be? I was taken aback by what I was hearing. I still am. She is only two. Afraid of the storm, yet calling on His name. Power of the Holy Spirit. I felt such peace at that moment, unexplainable. Her voice trails off into her sleep.

Minutes later, thunder is close. She breathes the name,

"Jesus....."

And all three of us fall into peace.

Getting my list of graces together, it has been a long week.

Fun Stuff

2011-09-20T10:56:00.001-05:00

Just me trying to get my kids excited about hygiene, so I thought I would share these with you. Feel free to use them. The drawings are not my own, so I have included links to the originals. I do have to admit it is hard for me to use someone else's drawings instead of my own, but I love love love them!

(Click image to view original size, then right click to Save As.)

I am also working on a blank version to our morning checklist. It will be available to you shortly!

Optional Instructions: Laminate pages and tape or sticky tack them somewhere in your bathroom at your children's eye level. Laminating will protect your signs from getting ruined by toothpaste and water splashes, plus makes them oober easy to clean!

Resources:
Brush Your Teeth
Wash Your Hands

To pray

2011-09-20T10:35:00.002-05:00

On God calling us, the Church, to BE a house of prayer.

We find this story in all four of the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

The scene in Mark 11, the temple, reeking with smells of sacrificed animals, sweaty travelers, and greedy hearts, was surely unrecognizable as a place of worship to a holy God. Jesus, alive with anger, cleanses His temple of the sinful, self-seeking schemes that inhabited every corner of the courtyards. This is a picture of His holiness.

"Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name."

Our hearts are infested with tendencies toward sin, and He CLEANSES us. HE is the ONLY Holy One. We have no holiness apart from Him.

Ephesians 5:25

That scene is also an illustration of His Lordship in our lives. Matthew 12:6 (NASB)

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

"Something GREATER than the temple is here." Jesus entering the temple foreshadows our lives being indwelt by Him...our bodies being the temple. So are we a den of thieves? Is there deception? Greedy tendencies? Misplaced focus? Or a holy place filled with worship, bowing low to His Lordship in our hearts? We are His temple. Jesus cleanses His temple! Those, in that temple long ago, driven out by Jesus Himself, are no different than we. Their hearts were bent toward things that would temporarily satisfy, and their actions followed suit. What are our intentions? Are we seeking things that temporarily satisfy? Are OUR actions following suit? May it never be!

"Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Lastly, that scene is a representation of His Love, His perfect love for mankind. He gave Himself up for us. Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He declared victory over death, for us. So why do we live like we are defeated? We have the privilege to empty ourselves of those things so He can fill us, He loves us. We are His temple, He WANTS to cleanse us.

"For Your is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."

Are we focused on too many things that are not focused on God? The Church cannot ignore this obvious call to pray. To be on our knees. To be cleansed, so He has complete reign over our lives. To surrender to His freedom. To pour out so He can pour in and then pour forth His glory through us, revealing His love to others.

Lord, teach us to pray.

His grace is abundant,

shan

Living Proof

2011-09-16T11:04:00.000-05:00

My notes on our Beth Moore Bible study:

An unsatisfied soul is a stronghold waiting to happen.

In prayer, we begin always with praise to the Father, recognizing who HE IS and bowing low in thankfulness for His love that has no boundaries. And we pour out, first our confessions. Confession of sin: it is a glorious right that we have, to pour out and become clean...and again! Be emptied of sin, strongholds, distress, worry! And to accept His forgiveness, not continuing to live on as an unforgiven person. We have the privilege and ability to confess and be cleansed, and God has the power to DO the cleansing and releasing. Every day! Active acceptance of His forgiveness. Because He always does what He says He'll do.

Then we pour out our concerns. To bear one's soul. If it concerns you, it concerns Him. What makes you anxious or frustrated? What scares you? Pour it out, He is waiting to fill you.

We are now emptied of the undesirable and ready to be filled again with His Spirit. Ephesians 5:18, oh to be filled in excess with the Spirit rather than excessive temporary and destructive pleasure. She talks about how there are few conditions that place us at greater risk than emptiness. When we are empty, we are longing for something in us to be filled. The desire to be full is not sinful, but there are misplaced desires. God wants to help you identify exactly what it is that you are longing for. And He. will. fill. it. He alone!

Is there something that you do or say that you really don't want to do or say, but you can't help it? You were just "in a mood". You were just annoyed. You woke up upset for no reason, can't explain it, but just steer clear because your fuse is very. short. today. So you snap at someone, or your ears are hot and your temper is just waiting for the chance to lash out. I don't know what you do. Maybe it's none of that. Maybe you cry all day. We all have our own things that we do or say. We are all different and react in ways that are not the same as the next person. But the point is, think about whatever it is that you do or say. Is it something you like doing? Is it something that brings you or others around you joy? Or are you tired of doing it? Do you feel bad after you do it or say it? You don't know why you do it, you didn't mean to say it, but it just came out. Maybe you don't want to do it anymore, and each time it gets worse.

Try this: Think about trying to figure out what you were actually feeling right before you did the thing you don't like doing, or said the thing you didn't really mean to say. Knowing and identifying what you were feeling is going to be key in helping you overcome this stronghold in your life.

Example: I woke up one day and already knew it was going to be "one of those days." Now, I didn't know what was going to happen that day, so how did I know that it was going to be a bad day? I didn't know that I was going to spill coffee on my new shirt right as I was walking out the door, already late for my appointment. I didn't know that one of the kids was going to take a marker and draw on the walls down the entire hallway. I didn't already know that later that day, we would finish up lunch with our guests and I would pull out a cobbler that had burnt and spilled all over the bottom of the oven. Or that my toddler was going to throw her entire bowl of macaroni on the floor out of anger because she bit into it and burned her tongue because it hadn't cooled completely. And I didn't know that the guilt from the fact that I should have made sure it was cooled off first was going to spark my already short fuse and cause me to treat my oldest son rudely when he was just trying to ask me a simple question. Then more guilt. More remorse, more tears, more unhappiness, more depression, more tears, more of me doing and saying things I don't mean but can't stop. So when I woke up, none of that had even happened yet, how did I know it was going to be one of those kinds of days?

I needed to consider: Maybe I had an unresolved issue with a friend, or my husband, that I needed to apologize for or confront them about? Maybe I knew I had too many things to get done that day, and I really just did not want to get them all done. Or did I say yes to something I didn't really want to do that day, but felt obligated to do it, and was in turn annoyed. Or maybe I just did. not. feel. good. and did not want to get out of my warm, soft bed to face the day. Or all of the above! Whatever it was, it already made me decide that it was going to ruin my entire day. Before I even got out of bed, I had already let that thing or feeling control how I was going to live out that whole day.

So what should I do? Confess it, pour it out. Empty it all into God's lap. I could say, "Look, God, You know everything about me and You know that I am NOT having a good time right now. I really DO NOT want to _______________________ (fill in the blank) today. I am ultimately annoyed. I am mad. I am depressed. Or I DON'T KNOW what's wrong with me, but I don't like it and I'm going to have a bad day if You do not help me. PLEASE be my arms and legs today, please be my mouth and my ears, be my heart. You promised us that when we are weak, You are strong. Well, I am very weak today. You sent us Your Holy Spirit to be our Helper, please be near to me."

Now, my day is going to go perfectly. I will not burn the cobbler and I won't be late to any of my appointments! Yay! NO. BIG FAT NO. Things will STILL go wrong. Things will still make me upset, but I will react differently. Why? Because in the pouring out, it made room for God to pour IN and fill me up with things that I would need to handle my day with care..and love. Thus having a new outcome, a better ending! Each day is fragile. Each person is fragile. Handle with care! And now I can, because the Holy Spirit is leading me. I may still forget to cool the macaroni completely and she will still get her tongue burned, but the guilt will transform into compassion (and a reminder not to forget next time) and the compassion will spill over and out of me (because the Lord had filled me with it earlier) when my son asks me a simple question, and I can simply answer it...in love. And at the end of my crazy, zoo-like day, I can say, "Wow, the Lord sure did help me through today." And rather than my gluttonous depression getting fed more meals of guilt and anger, God ultimately is honored and glorified through the outpouring of His Love through me.

As for tomorrow? Being a woman, tomorrow could hold a whole new set of anxieties...but His mercies are new. each. day.

Comments welcome, questions welcome, we'll figure this out together :)

-shan

Falling for You

2011-09-06T14:13:00.001-05:00

We are entering the third season in our new way of life. Spring welcomed us in, Summer made us feel right at home, and now Fall is showing its hospitality in abundance! Oh how I love its dreamy breeze and showers of yellow leaves.

I am a day late posting for Multitude Monday, but still ever so thankful:

Guiding hands of a Daddy

Letting go :)

The colors of Fall

The constant pulls a mother must experience

The constant grace of our Father in heaven

Compassion

Reaching those who feel unloved

Smiles on tired faces

Writing a book, too!

2011-08-29T19:15:00.005-05:00

I have always wanted to write a book. A book with a journal-type feel to it. A real life book. And after recently reading a book written by a dear friend, I have been inspired to start putting some things down in writing. So, thankfully I have a blog on which to do this! Infested with grammatical errors and incomplete thoughts, I am writing a book...here I go....

(...oh, and nice constructive criticism accepted...)

I woke up the other morning to the too-familiar pain from what felt like an electric drill driving relentlessly into my right temple. I did NOT want to get up. I had already been up several times in the night, and never really reached that wonderful, refreshing deep realm of sleep. A realm that I hardly visit since about seven years ago, so my body has learned to function ok without it. We had alot to get done during the day, and trying to stay asleep - in spite of bouncing children and a pounding headache - was not really an option.

"Jesus, I need help," I breathed as I swung out of bed. I can't do anything without His help, especially on mornings where my feet feel like they weigh a thousand pounds each and my head twice as much. It hasn't always been this way - praying when I am having a hard time, I mean. It has been a journey, and still is, to get to where I am now. The Lord has brought me thus far! There are times I do forget to lean on Jesus with my everything. Such is life with three children.

Elijah is six and a half, Angel is four and a half, and Selah (SAY luh) is two. As the wife of a pastor, you should know that my three children never act up in church, always listen to what I say, and are always respectful to others in and outside of church. And you should also know that I may have a small tendency to be a bit sarcastic at times. I apologize if there are times you may not know the difference :P

I don't really remember what happened after I got out of bed, but I am sure it had something to do with pushing last night's dinner out of the way so my girls could sit and eat breakfast. Then maybe me crawling around on my knees still looking for that school book we may have lost. I probably took a shower. And I do remember dressing the girls in some cute, sparkly outfits for the day.

------

Over and over there is this cute little voice coming out of the CD player, "Smile and sing a happy song..." and I laugh at the irony as my youngest is flailing loudly all over the couch. Oh...I take that back...now she is on the floor and is now even louder. I continue working on my task at hand, stepping over the explosive toddler when need be, and smile as the CD player continues on to, "If you're happy and you know it..." ohhh, she was stomping her feet, alright.

------

First stop today was the lovely dentist for Elijah to get his tooth filled. His first experience (at a different dentist office) was not filled with laughter and prizes, but I knew this would be a better time for him. With funny monkeys painted on the lime green walls and smiles on all the faces of the dental assistants, he was put at ease as soon as we walked in the door.

I sat there watching my two youngest play peacefully together with the toys provided in the waiting area, thankful Daddy was there to aid me in case quiet became chaos. I was delighted to find one of my favorite movies was playing on the television mounted close to the ceiling...causing the girls to be slightly out of my peripheral vision. So I happened not to see my youngest pour her entire water bottle on the waiting room floor.

I glanced down from my hilarious entertainment to see her standing there looking sweetly at me as it slowly pooled at her tiny feet. Well, at least it's just water.

I found paper towels and cleaned up the cute little puddle before anyone else even saw the mess. Yes, I pride myself in my quick response to mess-making. I am a professional, after all, and I do get lots and lots of practice.

After Elijah successfully made it through the filling process, it was on to the pediatrician's office. Both girls were sick and I was d r e a d i n g this visit. You see, my four year old has a beautiful set of vocal chords accompanied by a strong pair of lungs. We don't experience the blessing of hearing the two combined very often, but when we do, it is quite the performance. Heart rendering and powerful.

Everything was going as planned, I had everything calm and collected...well except for the short little skirmish Selah had with the waiting room floor. Angel was at ease because I assured her that 1) she was NOT getting a shot, 2) nothing was going to hurt and 3) they are only going to LOOK at your throat.

So you can imagine the fireworks and deadly bombs that went off when the nurse (to my surprise and ultimate dismay) walked in with two twelve inch long swabs and that huge tool box thing equipped with all the necessary items for pricking little fingers.

As I was instructed to basically put my four year old princess in an MMA hold, I was 1) really wishing I had ear plugs 2) trying to figure out how I was going to explain myself to my sweet child. I didn't lie!! I didn't KNOW they were going to prick her precious finger! At least it wasn't a shot!? Right?

In the middle of my distress, my husband texts me from the waiting room, "Is that Angel?" Great. He could hear her all the way in there. I could barely even read she was screaming so loudly. In Elijah's own creative terms, "my brain was wiggling." That's what he says whenever he thinks Angel is being too loud. And at that moment, she was definitely. too. loud.

Ignoring the obviously irritated nurse, I tried to remain calm and positive while I continued to wrestle my princess. And after that, things went much smoother...aside from Selah ripping to shreds that thin, white protective paper on the examining bench, and falling off the little stair I told her repeatedly to be careful not to fall off of...oh, and wondering how dirty the floor actually was, because it was really grossing me out that she was throwing another squirmy tantrum all over it. Ew. I suddenly wished that there was a tear-free antibacterial body spray for moments like these.

Yay, we survived. Plus, we laughed all the way home at Elijah's half dead/half normal smile. He had been so brave! They all were. I was proud, even though it was chaotic, I still had really. good. kids. And a fantastic husband! All of which come directly from my loving Lord in heaven. I don't know why He continues to bless me so.

Slow my steps...

2011-08-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

...that is my prayer for the weekend. I need what only the Lord Himself can give, and I am clutching His promises close to me.

I overheard my daughters, ages four and two, talking about being scared of the dark. The oldest assuring the youngest that, "Everything is ok because God is always with you. You don't have to be afraid."

It the midst of a day filled with screaming toddler fits, whining siblings, a headache, and too many things on the to-do list, I am not going to let this blessing slip by! I thank the Lord that my children are helping each other in the way that we are helping them in the way that He is helping us.

God brings darkness to light. It may not happen as quickly as we would like, it may not happen how we want it to, but He promises He will take care of us and bring unending joy.

2011-08-15T09:25:00.003-05:00

Multitude Monday

Continuing thanks...

Rainclouds

Racing home to beat the oncoming storm!

Kids giggling in the rain

A visit from dear friends

And godchildren

A new pediatrician

Girls reading books

Digging in dirt!

Climbing trees

A lovely church family

Squirting paint everywhere!

Laughter

Long talks

The work of the Holy Spirit

The power of prayer

Singing

My kids

My husband

My family

Checklists

2011-08-15T09:03:00.000-05:00

Lately I have come across some awesome links to different and fun ways to stay organized! I love to try new things, and this morning I thought it would be a good idea to make Elijah his own checklist for the morning time, before Daddy takes him to school. I am holding onto hope that this means the girls and I will be able to sleep in just a bit before tackling the day! But I wanted to make sure he takes care of everything before leaving, a new responsibility for him. :) I know he'll do just fine.

Links to fun stuff:

iMOM

Jones Design Company

Julianna

Ann (as always)

Prayer for a daughter...

2011-08-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

Father who breathed into this daughter…

I pray for this girl being formed into eternity….

May the wind always be in her hair

May the sky always be wide with hope above her

And may all the hills be an exhilaration

the trials but a trail,

all the stones but stairs to God.

God, clothe this girl in a gown of grace
Grace, the only dress that makes beautiful,
the style of Your spirit.

Nourish her on the comfort food of the Word,
Word, that makes her crave more of Christ,
have hunger pangs for Him.

Enclose her in communion with You
You, Love who makes her love, who folds her heart into a roof
that absorbs storms for souls,
that makes her tongue speak only the words that make souls stronger.

May her vocation in this world simply be translation

Translating every enemy into esteemed guest
Translating every countenance into the face of Christ
Translating every burden into blessing

When it’s hard to be patient… make her willing to suffer
When it’s ridiculous to be thankful … make her see all is grace
When it’s radical to forgive … make her live the foundation of our faith
And when it’s time to work… make her a holy wonder.

May she be bread and feed many with her life and her laughter
May she be thread and mend brokeness and knit hearts
May she be dead to all ladders & never go higher , only lower, to the lonely, the least & the longing
Her led of the Spirit to lead many to the Cross
that leads to the tomb wildly empty.

Oh, and raise me, Lord, from the deadness of my own sins to love this beautiful girl like You do…

In the name of Christ who rose

and appeared first

to one of His daughters…

Amen

Humbly borrowed and now adopted from Ann

2011-07-18T07:43:00.000-05:00

With hours and hours on the road and two major trips within the past two weeks under our belts, we are pretty tired! This morning I had to beat the wasps out to the garden to chop down their playground of oregano. Who knew wasps were addicted to oregano? Then, at the first sign of wasp activity, I left the oregano to fend for itself and made my way over to the tree-sized weeds that needed pulling. Thankfully, I remained on my feet while yanking those things out...though did have a few close calls. The deeper the root, the larger the weed, the harder I yanked, the closer the call. But no injuries.

A few snapshots from our week at Youth Camp. What a fun time! Watching the teams play soccer in 80 degree weather in the middle of July...counting our blessings!

One of our thousands of treks from our room to the chapel.

We spent alot of time just hanging out during the youth sessions. At this point, we discovered that none of them knew how to accurately play duck duck goose, and that it has the potential to turn into an all out brawl...thankfully I was the referee.....but who knew anyone would NEED a referee for such a game?

Being forced to play outside for hours is surprisingly beneficial to your state of mind..

DON'T POUR THAT ON YOUR..........head

Just had to post this one, mainly to say THANK YOU SARAH for your hugeMONGUS abnormally amazing contribution to my daughter's otherwise very small wardrobe..

Oh, and CT, I still have your book...did you mean for me to keep it? oops.

Thanks for reading...no pensive thoughts for the blog at the moment, they are all finding their way from my heart to my mind to my pen to my keyboard, and it is just a long, very long process sometimes ;) Thanks for your patience!

~shan

Monday

2011-06-27T10:37:00.000-05:00

The blessings get penned onto the paper and I forget to record them here! I was blessed to remember today. A day when the sky is covered with a blanket of moisture to rain down and nurture the earth. And a break from the shopping list! Very refreshing!

My Graces List keeps going...

a preaching husband

fevered children now twirling around the house again

the food we eat

the Food we eat

Holy Scripture

the blessing of mom friends

music!

my camera

our neighbors shooting off fireworks after dark..every..night..
(well, it's better to be thankful for it, than to be bitter!)

tired but lovely moments

holding hands during sleep

baby girls' foreheads touching in the midst of their dreams

the pure blessing of a family

Thanks be to God

~shan

Short note...

2011-06-26T13:05:00.000-05:00

Just a short note to say if you haven't read Ann's blog before, you may want to start now! And here is a link to one of her free gifts, a practice that has now become a beautiful tradition in my life.

Have a beautiful day in the Lord Jesus Christ

~shan

From Sunday's Sermon

2011-06-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

God is God alone. Our Almighty Creator who reaches down into each of our hearts and becomes our Father. All that we need.

Elohim

El Shaddai

El Elyon

YHWH

Yahweh

Yahweh Jireh

Yahweh Nissi

Yahweh Shalom

Yahweh Sabbaoth

Adonai

Father

He is the God of Abraham, the Triune God. He is God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. God of Jacob and my God. We are adopted through the Spirit to become the children of God and we receive the right to call Him Father and to HAVE LIFE in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ. He is so entrenched in our lives that He knows what we need before we ever ask. And He says do not worry.

~}~

The other day, out in the garden with my family, I plucked three immature potatoes from the ground. (no, I did not know they were not ready, and yes I am clueless about gardening but am earnest in learning...) So the kids carefully carried the little things to the porch, making sure not to drop them. Not quite clear on what they thought might happen if they DID drop them, but nonetheless, it was cute to watch.

Later that evening, that same plant caught my eye. That same plant that just a few hours before was green, leafy, full of life. It lay there, bowed over to death, from me picking it. but it had already lost so much green, and the leaves were already so shriveled. It happened so quickly! This loss of life caused me to think about how we have Spiritual water to drink, each day, throughout the day. And in order to keep us green and alive, we must drink!! How quickly, like the plant, we die without the breath of Life, our Lord.

Prayer, whether we are asking for the movement of God in our lives or praying for our loved ones and those around us, we must pray! Read the Word, God's message to US! We must read! There is so much power in the Word of God, the Holy Bible. It changes my life every day.

We must listen. Because He DOES speak. My house is loud, but He still can be heard. Life is busy, filled with necessary doings, but He still can be heard. Life is difficult, there are things that tear into our souls, that pierce our hearts, that beat us down so low that the very breath of our lives is knocked completely out of us, but He still can be heard. He will redeem His child.

We must LOVE! He loves us, so unworthy us.

To remain alive in Him.

Isaiah 58:11

The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

~shan~

2011-06-16T17:56:00.000-05:00

June 16, 2009

8 lbs 12 oz/20 in

Selah (SAY luh) Grace: to pause and think on God's grace

first birthday

second birthday

I want to remember everything as it is, and so I continue clicking. So the moment is forever captured. And when she is old, and I am more so, the memories can be revisited over and over again and the bittersweet longing in my heart can revive. Again and again.

The way she laughs.

When her cheeks squish up in a smile.

Her eyes that still gaze into mine, trying to search for love. And she always finds!

She is two today. And as any mother would say, it seems as if just yesterday she was born. Brought into this world to change it. I want to keep her here. Forever.

~Happy Birthday my sweet Selah, I love you~

Logos Global Ministries

2011-06-12T16:44:00.000-05:00

A link to a wonderful ministry.

~shan

If we get in a rut...

2011-06-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

When the air is filled with what seems to be "too loud..."

We have found a place that we all love to visit! Together!

Whether it be a storybook, a photo album, or something even more precious...

We find this place to quiet down and find that peace.

And the stories they "read" to each other are better than the words written!

If things are too loud, find a time and place to sit and read, or just look. It helps us :)

-shan

2011-06-01T11:29:00.000-05:00

Through Christ, God calls us to freedom. And He not only created a way to freedom, He gave the Holy Spirit to be our help. What does the word "freedom" have to do with commandments? Christ's commandments? When you have the Love of Christ, to live is to love. To have the freedom to love.

Just as the Spirit hovered over the temple by day and night, the Holy Spirit dwells in this temple. Us. He brings peace within, and we love with God's love.

And I do get frustrated, life is frustrating sometimes! To the point where all I can do is thrust my hands upward, palms to the sky, and offer myself to the Almighty.
"What am I supposed TO DO with THIS?!" I cry out, at the end of myself...again. And that which tries to bind me, tries to tie me to a life of defeat, is given to God and He takes it. He always takes it. He gives AND He takes away. And taking away is NOT always bad!

You know what He says? When I ask, "What am I supposed to do with this?!" He says, "Give thanks." And I do. And the fears are always swept away with the current, the anxiety leaves, frustration sent to the pit. And I wonder why I don't think of it beforehand. Before the tension rises within my soul. Why I forget. But He always reminds me.

Be still my soul

The Lord is on your side

Bear patiently

The cross of grief or pain

Leave to thy God

To order and provide

Through stormy waves

He faithful

Will remain

~shan

In Memory

2011-05-30T16:03:00.002-05:00

Click HERE for just another way to honor a lost loved one.

(photo used by permission.)

~shan

Melting!

2011-05-21T18:30:00.001-05:00

Ezekiel 36:27 says "I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees."

May my heart melt into a single passion for You, God!

Hebrews 13:14-15, "For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are waiting for the city that is to come. Through him, then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give praise to His name."

So we live in a bowed posture of thanks to God, in return our lives, our lips will pour out with praise. There is nothing I have found that extinguishes the fire of anger that boils than that of thanksgiving to God. Frustration can - and has - choked out any joyful sound from my lips -- Thanksgiving loosens and frees that grip of death, restoring praise.

Holy Spirit!

Thou art w e l c o m e! Fall fresh on me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Use me. And forever.

Acts 20:28, "Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood."

Our drawing of Jesus. He was on the dashboard all the way from Oklahoma to Indiana :)

My thanksgiving booklet (sitting on the table at my last Sunday morning Bible study with my friends in OK.) Free printable here at Ann's.

Just one of the things I am thankful for :)

View out of our back door.

Thanks for spending time with me today!

-shan

Eucharisteo

2011-05-19T10:33:00.001-05:00

"Hurry!! Let's go to the park before it starts to rain!"

I love rain, especially the kind where the sky is split between sunshine and rainclouds. That is my favorite!

We play purposefully, no wasted time...the rain is on its way.

There was a sense of urgency the whole time. It was like we were filling every moment that we could, soaking in the fun as much as possible...don't leave a drop!

Be sure to go down every slide! Don't forget the swings!!

Run!! Run!

Laugh

Capture every moment for it is a memory. And the rain will come and we will have to leave!

We only had a few moments to play, so we made the most of it...eyeing the rain, playing until we felt the first sprinkle!

We are only given a small amount of time...

Lord, sure our steps, guide us! May no moment go wasted before You come ("to pick us up" as Angel would say.)

I don't want to miss anything, not one giggle, not one prayer, not one tear. Parenting purposefully, soaking in the family as much as possible. Notice what made her smile.

Be sensitive to what caused him to be fearful, and help him through it.

Hold her hand.

Pick her up.

Twirl!

Congratulate him.

Hug, kiss, hold.

For we will not have them long, soon they will have to leave.

We are only given a small amount of time on the earth...

Soaking in the Lord. His Word. And living it out.

Eyeing Him, keeping our eyes on Jesus!

Be encouraged, each day starts anew!

In Christ,
~shan~

Catching up?

2011-05-10T14:27:00.000-05:00

The pages of this blog fill. With all for which I am thankful. It spills out love with every turned page. I slosh in puddles of joy as I remember these sweet moments that have rained down in our lives!

Great is the Lord and so

Worthy of praise

Great is the Lord

The Lord is gracious and

Slow to anger He is

Rich in love He is

Good to all

- homemade pancakes
- sunshine!
- digging in the dirt
- fresh onions, right from the ground!
- sprouting herbs
- deep sighs
- God's Word
- sleeping Baby
- gardening
- the Frakes
- turning right instead of left
- arriving address-less to the post office
- so so many more
- marriage
- soapy baths
- ballet with an Angel
- watching boy slowly becoming Jesus-loving man
- an up-turned palm, waiting for God.

In my weakness He is strong.

II Peter 1:10-11, "Be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome in to the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

Comment so we may chat a while, I want to hear from you!

-shan, indiana.

Eucharisteo

2011-05-08T05:46:00.000-05:00

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.

Psalm 136:1

...for rainbows!
...Easter lillies
...little boys with Bibles tucked under arm

Out in the barn

2011-04-12T23:02:00.000-05:00

...scraps of wood, remnants of previous projects lie about in the dust. "Let's build something!" the four year old calls to her older brother. "Yeah! What do you want to build?!" he asks as he begins to sift through stacks, tracing his finger along some nice wood trim, unused, begging to be nailed into by a little curious boy and his sister. I eyeball his curiosity, "Noooo, I am sure PawPaw has some specific use for that trim. Go check the barrel of wood scraps."

So the two examine carefully their choices and decide on one long thin scrap and one very small piece. "Let's build a church!!" Sister says.

"This can be the tall part, and this can be the door." the brother carefully lines up the choice wood.

"Oh. We need a hammer. Where's the hammer?"

"Yes, we need the hammer." she concurs.

"Okay, I will hold the nail and you hammer - but DON'T hit my FINGER."

"Here, let me help you."

"No...here, YOU hold the nail and I will hammer."

"It's NOT...GOING...IN...!!"

(time out! regroup!)

"Let's scoot it over."

"Okay, watch your finger."

They teamwork their way to a finished product....nailing it straight into the table. Ha! But they were proud, so I was. I was mostly proud of their willingness to assist each other and listen to the other's ideas. They were building a church. Building onto the Church, demonstrating to each other the patient, diligent Love of Christ.

Another grace added to my list :)

2011-04-12T14:05:00.002-05:00

We got word the other day that someone spent a day planting a garden...in OUR yard!! It will be about eight days before my eyes will behold its beauty, I can hardly contain my excitement! You see, I had already begun my garden, with a single humble, cucumber plant. Scrubbing breakfast's pancakes from the griddle, my eyes glance at the small plant sitting by the sink. And hopes and plans dance through my mind about this garden, our first garden, a budding symbol of this new chapter in our lives. The thirsty plant turns to the sun, leaning, longing to be quenched. So I too, turn to the Son and long to be quenched by the Living Water!

In a few days, we and our small, green leaves packed tight in soil and pot, will head 790 miles north to park our van in the garage of our new home, and plant our Oklahoma-grown cucumber plant into Indiana soil where it will grow and multiply. And we will.

Project Liberty

2011-04-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

http://www.projectlibertyintl.org/

Midnight

2011-04-03T23:59:00.000-05:00

CHRIST'S SACRIFICE - The Old becomes The New

Do we understand the depth and power of His sacrifice?

What a love

What a cost

We stand forgiven

At the cross

The Israelites were familiar with sacrificing. Have you ever read through Leviticus?! But because of our fallen nature, they (we) were always sinning. Sin cannot remain in the life of someone who has a relationship with God.

We needed something final.

We needed blood.

We needed death.

Every drop of sacrificial blood during the old covenant was foreshadowing Christ's cross, His sacrifice. The Israelites only heard through Moses what God had said, but there was no personal relationship. Only the high priest was able to enter the Holy of Holies. The old covenant, available only to the Israelites, His people. They understood that a life had to be taken, death, blood, for the forgiveness they needed.

Hebrews 8:7-13

But God had a plan.

Hebrews 9:11-28

Christ took place as the High Priest through His own blood He entered into the Holy of Holies. Mediator of a New Covenant, which is only valid through...death. He overlooked Jerusalem weeping. They were missing it. Somehow, they were missing their Savior.

How incredibly deep was His sacrifice. Do you realize now - why He was sweating drops of blood? Totally obedient to God even to death. How could this be? His Father looked at His heart and accepted this Perfect Sacrifice. Christ's sacrifice was:

1) Eternally redeeming

2) Eternally cleansing

3) Eternally sanctifying

4) Eternally freeing

5) Eternally final.

He not only sacrificed and redeemed us, but He changes us. We are new creatures.

He sets. us. apart.

Through His Spirit. He wants to have communion with us. We have VICTORY in Christ, WHY are we living a defeated, bondage-to-sin life??? His power was manifested and put away sin.

Old Covenant                           New Covenant

External standards                      Internal standards

Limited access to God                UNlimited access

Continual sacrificing                  Conclusive sacrifice

Forgiveness earned                    Christ gives it freely

Ceremonial cleansing                 He personally cleanses

Annual sacrifice                        Complete sacrifice

Only for Israelites                      For all

How amazing is God and His divine plan? Oh to grasp the power and costliness of His sacrifice, so that it changes us. That we are emboldened by His sacrifice, that we relay it through the way we live, through the way we breathe, through the way we speak, through the way we think, through the way we treat each other. Totally transformed that others will SEE that Christ has redeemed!

We are new only because of His sacrifice. What is our response? Hebrews 10:19 He tells us.

DRAW NEAR TO GOD AND HE WILL DRAW NEAR TO YOU

The Holy of Holies - Heaven - Jesus is now there and coming to get us so we can forever be there. For all.

STAY TRUE TO GOD, WITHOUT WAIVERING

We have a God who will carry us through. You can hide in His hand. He is faithful. The Bible says it!

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. MEET. PRAY. HELP.

Especially as you see the day drawing near. There should be no other entity that is closer than Christ's Church. God's children. Help each other draw near and stand true. When you take time to think about His sacrifice, His love, His awesomeness, He brings you into His presence. And respond in worship.

My First 100

2011-03-24T09:52:00.001-05:00

- Dad who helps me brave the dusty and neglected unknown in the barn

- ...even though he didn't have to and no one asked him to

- Mom who soothes my child's cry or tends to a need so I can steal a bit of fresh air

- ...and who washed those muffin pans (twice) i have been neglecting for too long now!

- ...and who did other things I'll never know about

- ...even though she didn't have to and no one asked her to

- Sister-in-law sharing an ongoing family joke (but it's not stucco)

- Brother who loves so big heartedly, who makes me smile

- Husband who melts my heart

- ...who turns my knees to mush

- ...and still sends butterflies through me

- ...even after seven years

- ...who works so hard so we can be taken care of

- ...who smiles in spite of the day's exhaustion

- ...who is so brave, so honest

- For the Giver of all these things

- ...may He forever be praised and honored just for who He IS

- For Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith

- ...who endured that horrible cross for the joy set before Him

- ...For the Holy Spirit, our Gift, from God. Power and dominion! In my heart. Thank You. Take all of me. Every. Day.

- ...Who turns darkness to light

- ...Who took too little, fish and bread, and fed five thousand

- ...Who turned Saul into Paul

- ...Who turned this depressed, mess of a soul who would take patience in form of a pill, into a wife/mother/daughter/sister/aunt who now only takes prayer and thankfulness

Although I haven't faithfully recorded my entire list of thanks in this blog, I do have them hand written in my thankfulness journal. And this list here marks my first 100 graces! Thank you for joining with me on this gratitude journey!! God be praised!

and so many more...
--

ThankFull

2011-03-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

- Sitting on the hallway floor jotting down thanks by the only light on in the house
- Tears of frustration
- Loving discipline birthing smiles and hugs
- Long eye lashes
- Slender, delicate four year old fingers
- Innocent, chubby hands covering an innocent, chubby face in a gesture of shyness
- The genuine concern of an older brother
- His quickness to rescue
- Longsuffering
- Learning
- Laughing
- No more toilet paper! And then finding 1/16 of a roll hidden away. Whew!
- Ballet
- Making changes
- Dad who plays jokes to get us laughing

--

Eucharisteo

2011-03-15T16:13:00.000-05:00

Tuesday (for Monday)

Elijah, what are you thankful for today?
That we are going to move to a different house in Indiana.

Angel, what are you thankful for today?
That Selah is so cute.

Selah, what are you thankful for today?
Da bed.

I was thankful for the Lord's faithfulness, and Daddy was thankful for His faithfulness and for our family.

Reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, I didn't want to put it down but my weary eyes made me. Do read it! Only in chapter 2 and my soul is already stirred. My every day prayer is that the Holy Spirit will help me portray in words what I know and experience inside each day. Pray with me?

Small Joys for Today

2011-02-28T21:09:00.000-06:00

In this I-don't-know-what's-around-the-corner life, the Lord is helping me to continually notice the small joys (and the large!) that cause my heart to endlessly give thanks. It gives breath to my heart, to give thanks. Oh, there seems to be too much going and doing and not enough listening and loving. Rest for your body gives restoration. Rest in Jesus gives your soul restoration.

This Sunday

2011-01-23T08:41:00.001-06:00

Prepare our hearts today, LORD, for more worship. A life of active, continual praise and thankfulness to You.

To Take Time Out

2011-01-10T09:05:00.000-06:00

No, not to be in time out, but to take time out! To just be.

It was nice!

John 13:34 "A new commandment I give unto you, that you would love one another, as I have loved you, that you also would love one another."

~

Happy? New Year

2011-01-07T10:19:00.000-06:00

Four out of five of our little family started off the new year with a wonderful stomach flu. The littlest one still suffering minor symptoms. But we spent time outside in the lovely January weather and got ourselves some much needed fresh air!

Our Tree is still up and we even add ornaments every now and then. I plan on leaving it up until winter has come and gone, it adds a comfort to the home when we are held hostage by the winter snow and ice! We need some fresh ideas for winter crafts and ideas to keep us going on these long days of cold. Any ideas welcome!

Blessings and Grace,

Kingdom Come

2010-12-30T10:20:00.000-06:00

When pudgy cheeks are blotched pink, soggy from tears and Mama's heart just the same, His Word caresses my soul.

I am thankful.

When the squabbling seems to never end, the loving words, tender prayers and hugs erase. When hours of work are deemed useless and fruitless, He tells me He sees and He will work it to the good of His Eternal Kingdom and I am thankful.

Four

2010-12-27T17:21:00.000-06:00

Together we prepare it the night before, a French toast casserole with real French bread, per her request. She delicately cracked each egg, careful not to let the rebellious pieces of shell sneak into the milk mixture. She did so well, mixing, tearing, tossing, splashing, tidying, pouring. I am so proud of the Jesus-hearted girl she has been and is becoming.

And it is too early to wake from my short night as I drowsily mix the yummy topping for the French toast casserole, drizzle and toss it in the oven, and I am thanking the Lord for the special blessing of a Birthday Breakfast. It is then that I smell something not of cinnamon and sugar. Not everything nice. Not nice at all. In my grogginess I smell the bread/egg mixture, I sniff the cinnamon sugar blend. I grab the cinnamon jar to see if somehow it was past expiration. Does cinnamon expire? I think to myself.

I don't think it does. So I guess the problem was that in the end, it wasn't the cinnamon at all. At. All. Because it was ground CUMIN. And ground cumin tastes NOTHING like cinnamon and will RUIN a PERFECTLY WONDERFUL casserole in less than a split second if you don't watch out.

After a deep breath and an hour of remaking the casserole, the birthday table was set for the beautiful birthday girl and we ate a very yummy cumin-less French toast casserole.

Then must come the bittersweet conclusion of the chapter before. Tears cloud my heart as the reality sets in. I don't like sadness, but sometimes it must come. I am convinced it does good for the heart in some obscure way. Surely. Somehow. There are so many things I will miss, my heart will mourn.

But at the same time there is joy unspeakable. That none could ever understand unless they know what I know! New adventures lie ahead, around the corner? Or right under our noses.

Lord, continue to shape my perspective to match Yours. Prepare and renew.

~Happy Birthday to my Angel, you are my little sunshine~ Love, Mama

Multitude - Just in Time!

2010-12-13T22:49:00.000-06:00

EEk! It is almost not Monday anymore! Where did it go?!

The next few of my thousand graces:

64. Hard-working, gentle husband.

65. Christmas program practices

66. Christmas programs!

67. God's grace, never ending

68. That God can use everything for His good

69. Scripture memory

70. Questions!

71. Patience

72. Anticipation of the birth of Christ

73. Trying my best to explain Jesus' life

74. Sleep.

~Shan

~@~

2010-12-07T13:12:00.000-06:00

Sometimes the view in the morning out my front door just takes my breath away. The camera could not even begin to portray the vibrance of these colors, and the lens definitely not wide enough to capture the horizon engulfed by layers of puffed, orange and purple clouds. At least it gives you an idea!

Oklahoma Sunrise

~@~

Advent

2010-12-03T19:23:00.000-06:00

Thank you to A Holy Experience for the Advent devotional, preparation for the celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus. One handmade Scripture ornament each day until Christmas. And a thousand prayers!

Have a peaceful day in Jesus.

~@~

Project Liberty ornaments

2010-12-03T15:26:00.000-06:00

In Mozambique there is a home. Full of children. Full of love. God's love! We hang their pictures on our Christmas tree as we pray for each one. And for the Lord's servants who take care of them.

Isn't it why we celebrate this Christ-centered holiday?

Excerpt from the Project Liberty website:

"Project Liberty works to provide family homes for orphaned, abandoned, abused, under-privileged, HIV/AIDS children and youth. We work in small group homes focusing on providing a family environment and work with the children socially, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Project Liberty also focus on equipping children and young people through academic education as well as providing vocational training opportunities."

Visit Project Liberty to find out more about this ministry and how you can pray for them.

"Dear Jesus, please help my friends in Africa, Constancia, Elina, and Betty, love You with all their hearts. In Jesus' name, amen." - Angel

~@~

You, God.

2010-11-27T12:45:00.000-06:00

If the tears I cry
Are what keep me
Drawing nearer to You
Then let them fall
Until all
That is left of me
Is You.

~

2010-11-23T08:06:00.000-06:00

~My soul is waiting, Lord.~

~

another silent week

2010-11-22T10:46:00.000-06:00

though my blog was silent, my pen was not.

She digs, seemingly endless discoveries about her. She finds. She tests. She touches, feels. Bangs. Listens. Pauses. Bangs again. Tastes. (ew!) And bangs again, smiling at me this time, to make sure I discovered it, too. I did! Indeed. The beauty of learning. Learning by experiencing.

So my prayer:

Lord, show me the jewels buried deep down. Help me dig fervently so I may discover even more each day. Brushing dust of fossils, revealing a long ago beauty. Unveiling bones, tossing or collecting. Gently polishing the gems hidden so beneath, a treasure never to be found unless searched for. I ask, Father, may I use your tools? They are much more capable than my own. And the Father says, "I have given you what you need. Let's just do it together."

The Lord is my strength and my song. My rock. My fortress. My deliverer. My provider. My God.

51. Enduring love between two people

52. I love you's

53. children learning the Christmas program

54. genuine hospitality

55. the Father's whisper, reaching my heart

56. Scripture memory

57. to do lists

58. anticipation of renewal

59. waiting - though hard in the moment

60. the lifting of downcast soul, knowing that someday it will come

61. happy children

62. the call of rest, drawing me away from pen and paper!

63. sleep

~

silence

2010-11-15T18:58:00.000-06:00

A week of silence! To be broken only by a brief post from my phone. Various illnesses grip our family this week. And fatigue. But the Lord is strong.

Princess pillows and cozy afghans, lots of fluids and the Word of God. Soup for our souls. Heal us, Lord.

41. church family

42. friends who pray

43. rest

44. home

45. iced coffee

46. tears

47. the sound of rain! (if only for a moment)

48. food on the table

49. a very helpful big brother!

50. curling up on the couch

~

Multitude Monday - First Gratitude Post!

2010-11-08T08:35:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited to begin my official list of 1000 graces, a Multitude Monday hosted by Ann Voskamp's Holy Experience blog.

"More."
Mini musicians!
Lingering hugs
My brother's voice on the phone
Anticipating my Love's arrival home
the autumn, country breeze
decluttering!
Daily Bread
Scripture memorization
a mother's love
a daughter's love
God's sustaining grace and mercy
rain that has been longed for
morning kisses
dancing in the kitchen
learning to read
the cool oklahoma breeze
rocking the baby
the soothing touch to calm an upset stomach
a husband who loves
sissy kisses
dead mouse next to the couch...ew!
Scripture memory
humor
unfinished thoughts
puckered lips and chubby cheeks
trusting eyes
her hand in mine
warmth
protection
a son's courage and understanding
sleep
obedience
the end of a long drive
sweet friends
never-ending laundry
a quilt table cloth
a star named "Eyeball"
bare feet
a sleeping family

~In everything give thanks~

~

Just for a bit o' fun

2010-11-05T22:07:00.000-05:00

This little guy didn't know what he was getting into when he frantically climbed the cage at the shelter to show us how badly he wanted to go home with us. From the trauma of a freezing bubble bath to the comfort of a warm jacket and a cozy bed fit for a king (er...construction worker). From leaving poo stinch in the house to being banned to the outdoor room with a nice rug to curl up in. From swatting ferociously at the large, barking dog to being rescued by a brave boy. And from sleeping soundly to frightfully meowing in fear of the prowling coyote who apparently sensed the little guy from a mile away...(or we would like to tell ourselves they are that far away.) Hopefully he will live up to his big, bad name the kids gave him...Flower.

2010-11-01T13:39:00.001-05:00

It is still and quiet. The Holy Spirit quietly reminds me that time with God is not developed through a discipline matter, but through a romance of the heart.

James 4:8 "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

In times of peace, we cannot forget the draw near, feasting on the Word. We will need every ounce of strength we can get when the storms come, as they surely will. Breathe in His Word, exhale His Love.

A Life

2010-10-25T10:23:00.000-05:00

A life, precious life, created by God Himself. Fashioned in such a way to reflect His own image. With a purpose only to glorify Him. Birthed into this world of agony, knowing but a hint of holiness. Years of confusion, wandering endlessly to find what your heart truly longs for. God Himself. Your Creator. As you press on, the enemy pushes against with all he has. But you hold fast.

Because a never changing God who held you before you were even born, loves you, and demands your soul, your life, your all. So you give it to Him. Over and over again. My own heart is sore from years of being wrenched, broken and mended once more. And another. Even the smallest speck is too much to bear when you are already buried under a mountainous heap of sand. And grain by grain, your mountain grows. But you hold fast. And I pray. Interceding. Trusting that God will preserve you, your heart, your faith.

Today, again, a needle pricks the wound still tender and bleeding, so my heart weeps and prays. If You are given glory through our tears, then may they ever flow. Be it Your will to take this cup from us, Father, please quickly do so. Amen.

A Few Thoughts

2010-10-24T22:23:00.000-05:00

Sunday mornings tend to be a bit stressful, as I bumble around in the dark - trying to stay as quiet as I can so the kids can continue dreaming for just a minute longer. As I gather all of the things that I forgot as I was getting ready the day before, I realized I needed something out of the car. Of course! Then the muddy dog will jump on me, causing me to take even longer to get cleaned up and find other clothing. Oh well, here goes. Open the door and see this:

Well great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord! I love when God surprises me. So my camera whispers a few clicks and I capture the beauty of what would soon become a storm. It does my soul good, and I praise God. Muddy shirt and all.

I read here about vibrant, glowing colors after the rain. I'm no photographer, it is the memory I want to hold in my heart. Vibrant memories amid the gray, soggy mess that life brings sometimes.

I am blessed each time she gallops through the front door, "Mama! I brought you something!!" I do not even care what it is, it is her sparkling eyes and loving smile and giving heart that are the true gifts.

Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me, bless His. Holy. Name.

Hebrews 13:14-15, "For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come. Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer a sacrifice of praise to God -- the fruits of lips that confess His name."

--

2010-10-12T17:31:00.001-05:00

Love Diary

2010-10-12T17:19:00.000-05:00

~~~

Come on! I will show you just what to do.

It's ok, Little Baby, I will help you.

See, you just do this.

Good job, Girlie!

Look, Mama, I'm a teacher! She's doin' a good job!

Jesus, help everything I do reflect my love for you.

A Son's Love

2010-10-09T16:38:00.000-05:00

....and I say, "You know, you can remember it like this, 'You WRITE with your RIGHT hand.' That way, it'll help you when you are trying to figure out which is which. See, Mama couldn't use that tactic because I write with my LEFT hand..."

He interrupts, "Whaaaaat?!"

Long pause.

He says sincerely, "Mama, I think you need to learn how to write with your RIGHT hand."
I say, "Why? You're going to have to give me a goooood reason to do that."
"Because I want you to."
I chuckle, "Well, I love you, but that is not a good enough reason! It is hard to learn how to write with your opposite hand."

Another long pause.

His words are soaked in honesty and love:
"Ok. I want you to learn how to write with your right hand so that everyone will think you are a REAL person."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-06T08:58:00.001-05:00

You are my sunshine, my little sunshine

Thankful for

2010-09-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

Chocolate-covered marshmallows and thoughtful evenings

Break Bread

2010-09-17T09:29:00.000-05:00

Celebrating

They carry on the God-given passion of music. His special blessing to our family. Seven years of love. And barns and rainclouds!

I love Acts 2:42-47

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."

It Actually Did Rain Today

2010-08-31T20:16:00.000-05:00

She is curiously peering through the window.

"Mama? Why is the sky staying up there?!"

I am in awe again of the responsibility I have, raising my children. Children straight from Heaven. From God. They are like little fountains overflowing with questions! I note that there are things only God Himself knows. It is my job to point her to Him. Everything points to Him.

"Your promise revives me and comforts me in all my troubles." Psalm 119:50

More Precious Than Silver

2010-08-25T12:34:00.000-05:00

Surround us, Lord.

Almighty God, guide us as we guide them.

Relying on Your every Word for each choice, each question.

Each answer.

May they draw near to You as we, too, draw near to You.

Help us to follow You. Whether You say bend or break. Stand up straight, or sit still.

Walk or sprint!

Inhale or exhale

Soak in, or squeeze out

Content just because we are with You.

Down the straight and narrow, leading to You, our One and Only.

It Didn't Rain Yesterday

2010-08-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

She melodically plays, note by note, her own creation. Medley of various melodies that she hides in her heart and sometimes shares with her world around her.

She quietly turns each hymn page. And looks expectantly over her shoulder between each stanza for my approving applause. And smile.

I hope my loving expression reflected how my heart so smiled.

Holy, Holy, Holy

Shout to the North and the South

Let the Vast Voyage Begin!

It's Gonna Rain Today!

2010-08-24T08:58:00.000-05:00

Getting ready to begin!

Just. Can't. Wait.

Our school room is taking shape, still have lots of sorting to do. A blue desk with blue shelves for the boy. A pink desk with pink shelves for the girl.

Daddy hung the alphabet yesterday, adding an official classroom feel to the double-duty Guest Room.

Read. Read. Read!

(The monkey was getting a Bible lesson on how "and Jesus said to Oklahoma City...")

Baby's step of faith

2010-08-10T18:07:00.000-05:00

Today I was part of a picture of faith. She happily followed as I cheerfully said, “Come on, let’s go downstairs!” She didn’t know where we were going. She didn’t know what we were going to do. She didn’t know how long we would be there. But she did know how she would get there. In my arms. And that was enough for her.

Enough for her to come right away.

Enough for her to come, wrapped up in her laughter.

To come with chubby arms outstretched.

To come with gleaming eyes.

To come without even thinking once about the steep staircase.

Enough for her to quickly - joyfully step off, keeping her eyes on mine, knowing that she will land in my arms.

To come, not caring what or where, but she knew wanted to go just because she knew she was going with me.

And that was enough for her.

A child-like faith!

---

cute

2009-10-18T08:14:00.001-05:00

angel: can we go to rod greens, please?

me and my mom: what? who?

angel: can we go to ROD GREENS, please?

me and my mom: um, we don't know who that is, baby.

angel: nooo, R O D G R E E N S.

my mom: OH!! Walgreens!

(laughter)

000

walmart fun

2009-09-29T19:49:00.000-05:00

i had a couple of hours to myself this late morning/afternoon so i went to walmart...what? what else is there to do in chickasha? so i ate lunch in the walmart Subway and watched all the people who came in. i love to watch people, we're all so different. but today it was so fun that i think i am going to make it one of my hobbies and start recording things that i observe. not that this is some newfound idea, but i just think it is something to enjoy. i didn't have a pen and paper today, i will next time, but here's what i remember:

in no particular order:

nice little man in his 70's, maybe coming in to pick up a prescription

young upper class couple, didn't have Okie accents

smiling man in his 70's, long bluejean overalls with the buttons undone, walking in giving the Walmart greeter a thumbs up

a young mother of two small boys, looking nice and polished, comes in pushing a cart. then about a minute later i see her leave, smiling, with nothing in her cart. people who were walking by her were smiling at the older boy with, "isn't that cute?" faces, but i couldn't see what or why. then about two minutes later, she and her boys come back in.

a middle aged lady coming to return something that she brought back in the walmart sack that she was trying her hardest to open with her teeth.

a lady with a cast on her foot

a young couple with their new baby that had no hair, the doting grandma along with them

a new subway employee

a frustrated subway manager

the nice walmart greeter man

a quiet lady in her 60's sitting in the booth behind me, perhaps doing the same thing i was doing

patient people standing in line

impatient people standing in line

people in sleeveless shirts

people in sweatshirts

---

such fun, and that was only in ten minutes! more later :)

000

to my friends

2009-09-05T22:31:00.000-05:00

please post something new for me to read while i'm staying up with the baby. i've read your old posts too many times, now!

000

safe and sound

2009-09-05T07:57:00.001-05:00

he made it back safely

000

ready...set...go?

2009-09-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

elijah's class is supposed to take a trip to the zoo on friday...am i ready for this???

000

on the way home from school...

2009-08-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

angel says, "momma, can i get a camel?"
"What do you need a camel for?"
"so I can drive it." (like, hello why didn't you know that, mom?)

000

Me to elijah: "did you learn about arby the armadillo today?"
elijah: "mmm, no. it's armadillUH."
me: "no, it's armadillO. that's how it's spelled."
elijah: "but my teacher says armadillUH."
(so it begins, having to filter through the Okie accent)
me: "well, it's not right. it's armadillO. k?"
elijah: "she says armadillUH, but i say armadillO."
me: "that's right."
(the first of many, i'm sure :) )

000

elijah: "momma, renember miss _______?"
me: "yes, don't you like her? she is so nice!"
elijah: "yeah. but she smells like corn."

wow.

000

show and tell

2009-08-21T09:50:00.000-05:00

elijah's first show and tell today! i don't think he completely understood what is was for, but he'll know after today. i told him he could bring something special to school to show his friends...he asked to bring his daddy. how cute is that? but instead he took some random motorcycle toy. cutie!

000

sweet

2009-08-18T22:04:00.001-05:00

elijah picked a flower for me at school today, saved it the whole day, and gave it to me when i picked him up! so he IS thinking about me while he's gone!

000

angel and i are enjoying having more time together to play and color. she's doing well with potty training, but i think it's going to be a long road :)

000

miss selah has officially moved from her bassinet in our room into her big girl crib in her and angel's room. i'm very sad. now she's like 12 feet away instead of 3. they grow up too fast!

000

return of the potty chocolate

2009-08-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

it's that time again! no accidents yet! however, it has only been an hour since we started :)

000

at school, E was going to be doing Pre-K for three weeks before starting regular Kindergarten, just to ease the transition into school. but they told me this morning that he was advanced for the Pre-K program and will be starting official Kindergarten stuff today instead! we're so proud of him!

000

we got one of these this weekend! A already fell off the swing and bit her tongue in four places. but after the screaming was over, which only lasted about one minute, she wanted to get back on and swing "Higher, Mama!"

000

hey, where's....

2009-08-17T08:30:00.000-05:00

and then i realized she was gone.

i didn't even get to say goodbye..

ohio stole her again.

000

sniff sniff wail

2009-08-14T11:06:00.001-05:00

first day of kindergarten yesterday!

000

before and after...

2009-08-14T09:34:00.001-05:00

Before I was a Mama,

I never tripped over toys

or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mama,

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Drawn on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind

and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mama,

I never held down a screaming child

so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night

just watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mama,

I never held a sleeping baby just because

I didn't want to put her/him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mama.

Before I was a Mama,

I didn't know the feeling of

having my heart outside my body

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond

between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mama,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy, the love, the heartache, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

before I was a Mama

000

2009-08-11T19:08:00.001-05:00

This is good advice.

2009-08-10T17:32:00.001-05:00

i think i cried a thousand tears today

and held back just as many

000

Give

2009-08-05T12:08:00.001-05:00

Standing here next to you, waiting for the words, "I do."
Your smile giving me strength anew
For years I have had to wait
Never giving in to just second rate
And now's finally the time I get to say

I give you my life
I give you my heart, my soul
We'll never be apart
To have you to hold
Through waters untold
Forever I'll keep you from the cold
This promise I have made to you
The Lord will help me see it through
To love and honor, cherish you
I give you my all

Our love comes straight from our Lord
He created my heart to be joined with yours
And our love will be alive forevermore
You stepped out of my dreams
And now you're here right next to me
Forever only yours I will be

And Lord we ask Your blessing now
Make us one as only You know how
And daily we will humbly bow and pray

We give You our lives
We give You our hearts, our souls
We'll never be apart
To have You to hold
Through waters untold
Forever You'll keep us from the cold
This promise we have made to You
You will help us see it through
To love and honor cherish You
We give You our all
We give You our all

--Titus and Shannon Gilbert, marriage song 2003

000

2009-08-02T22:39:00.001-05:00

AND after church???

three different times, three different children

000

2009-08-02T13:19:00.000-05:00

did anyone else get peed and thrown up on before church this morning??

000

2009-07-23T22:46:00.000-05:00

why have i never heard of this?

if you haven't either...google "muffin tin monday".

thanks, C!

000

what's that?

2009-07-23T08:34:00.001-05:00

what's that stage between sleep and awake? because i know it too well. and i don't like it. i'm fine once i'm awake, and i'm wonderful once i'm asleep...but it's that middle part that i live in that is most frustrating.

000

i will

2009-07-19T23:07:00.000-05:00

you'll too soon forget

but i'll remember forever

there's nothing else like this

it passes too soon

000